Technology and the Romance Novel

Back in the 19th century, parents feared their children reading romance novels and exposing themselves to things that they – the parents – weren’t ready to deal with. Today, we have technology. A recent seminar on raising kids in the digital age brought home a few time-tested ideas with a new twist.

We are raising our children in a radically different technological environment than we had growing up. My parents remember their families’ first television sets. I remember the first cable TV with the long wire and the clunky rows of buttons to push to change channels. The Internet has always been there for our kids; they’ve used tablets for several years.

In fact, as it was pointed out, how does a one-year-old relate to a magazine? In their eyes, it’s a tablet that doesn’t work. Think about it. It’s close to the same size. It has images, and some can look like icons. But when a one-year-old taps or swipes a page, nothing happens.

While I heard a lot of things I already knew, hearing them all at one time provided some perspective and context. The bottom line is that kids are growing up faster, and they learn things much earlier than we ever thought. For example, while most kids in the US start driving a car through lessons and under supervision by the age of 16, they have really learned about driving at the age of 5 – by watching you. That means they not only learn an attitude about driving and how to handle a car, they also learn about habits, such as talking on the phone or texting.

Technology needs to be viewed as a tool, not a treat. Today’s world holds a lot more risks than teens becoming more sexually active because of what they read in romance novels. Online activity exposes kids to risks of being lured into very dangerous health-and-safety situations, and it can expose entire families to health-and-safety and financial risks.

Further, the seminar speaker noted, helicopter parenting – now known as drone parenting – increases risk in the long run. Kids whose parents monitored all of their online activity, including texts, eventually exhibit riskier online behavior. And through their peer groups, they likely have the collective knowledge to make their technology capable of doing things you would never imagine.

With 74% of kids now having smartphones, putting smart technology use in perspective for kids is even more critical because they may be using channels that are not familiar to you, the parent. For example, texting – which grandparents do all the time – is down among teens, while the use of Instagram and Snapchat is up. What do you know about those apps?

Online safety and safer living require a great deal of common sense – both the common sense you exercise as a parent and the common sense you instill in your children. Step into your children’s digital lives without stepping on them. For example, don’t allow them to have phones and tablets in their bedrooms. Do have family discussions about living in a world that relies more and more on connectivity.

The world has always been an exhilarating place even though its context always changes. As the parents of two technologically adept children, my wife and I can relate to every concern any parent would have. As an IT professional, I make it a point to stay on top of every development and how it affects my family. So, call us – 973-433-6676 – or email us with any questions or concerns. Together, we can help your children stay safe online and learn the lessons that will help them avoid high-tech landmines.

Caution is Key to Online Safety

Take a deep breath and Look Before You Click during the holiday season. More scammers, hackers and schemes abound at this time of the year, looking for holes to breach and get critical personal data. Here’s a review of our tried-and-true safety measures.

Watch your email. It’s one of the easiest pathways into your computer and all of your valuable personal data. At this time of the year, scammers and hackers take advantage of harried shoppers, who are likely balancing work and shopping and not paying full attention to all of their email.

Here are some identities a cyber-invader may assume to get inside your computer:

  • Bank or Credit Card Company
    • Do you have an account with that bank or credit card company?
    • Is it really one of their actual email addresses or domains?
    • Does your bank or credit card company normally contact you about this?

Your Best Course of Action: Close the email and go the bank’s or credit card company’s website to see if there are any alerts that match the email. If you’re still not sure it’s a fake message, get the phone number from the website and call. You can also look at a bank statement or credit card to get a customer-service phone number. Don’t click on any link in a questionable email.

  • Retailer or Shipper
    • Did you actually do business with that retailer?
    • Did you agree to use that shipper when you bought something online?
    • Are you being asked to click on a link?

Your Best Course of Action: Close the email. If you printed a hard copy of your order confirmation, you should be able to see the name of the carrier and a projected shipping date and delivery date and verify the information in the email. For protection, go to the retailer’s website and log in if you have an account. That should provide you with updated information on your order’s status. If the retailer has provided you with a shipper and a tracking number, go to the shipper’s website and enter the tracking number there. If you’re still not sure, call customer service.

  • Charitable Solicitations

Your Best Course of Action: Close the email. If it’s a charity you want to support, find its official website and give a donation there.

  • Email from a Friend in Need

Your Best Course of Action: Close the email. If you really think it’s legit, call your friend or send a new email with a different subject line. If that person is a close enough friend to send money, you should have full contact info – or know a way to get it.

When conducting business online, make sure you give your information over a secure website page. There are a couple of ways to check:

  • The website address begins with https
  • You’ll see a padlock icon in the address bar

Some other precautions to take include:

  • Buy from a large, reputable online or brick-and-mortar merchant. Generally speaking, retailers who work through Amazon or EBay have been vetted and have contact info posted online. If you’re not sure, buy from someone else.
  • Don’t send sensitive personal information by email. It’s too easy for someone to intercept it.
  • If somebody calls you about an account or purchase or charitable donation, you can ask to call that person back – and then go to a website to get a phone number you believe is trustworthy.
  • Make sure your antivirus, spyware, malware and firewall programs are up to date and running.

Above all, Look Before You Click. Make sure you understand exactly where a click will take you and what will be put on your computer. As Michael Conrad’s Sgt. Phil Esterhaus warned TV’s Hill Street Precinct police officers: “Let’s be careful out there.” And if you run into trouble, make your emergency call to us – 973-433-6676 – or send us an email.

Make Cyber Monday a Winner

As sure as the sun will come up, Monday, Dec. 2 – Cyber Monday this year – will be the busiest day of the year for online shopping. There are traps and pitfalls all over the place. Here are some ways to avoid them.

  • If it’s too good to be true… You know that line: “If it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t.” Have a healthy skepticism about prices, shipping costs, return policies and the rest of the “fine print.”
  • Look for free shipping. There is a lot of competition for your business, and there are many ways for online retailers to put together a deal for you.  Once you start to compare the prices, you’ll find some really low prices and prices that are lower than the average of all the places you’ve shopped. Free shipping can be a real deal maker with all things being equal. With all of the competition and all of the deals, you shouldn’t pay for shipping. Besides, shipping costs are one of those blind items when you buy. A retailer can offer you an unbelievably low price and make a ton of money on the shipping charge.  So, look for a good price with free shipping, and you’ll likely get a better value.
  • Check merchant reviews. I buy a lot of merchandise online and do a lot of research for clients, and reviews hold a lot of weight. I look for places in the middle of a price range, and I look for patterns in recent reviews. Is there a rant or a litany of problems? With the rise of social media, we find ourselves taking the advice of people we’ve never met, so you really need to read them carefully and see if there’s anything going on “between the lines,” so don’t be afraid to drill down to satisfy your good or bad impressions. There are severe penalties for fraudulent reviews. If a merchant has a lot of reviews, most of them should be positive – if not glowing. Major chains with a strong Internet presence and good reviews should be your most reliable source.
  • Make sure the item is in stock or available in a reasonable time. If you need to have a product delivered by a specific date, make sure the merchant can make it happen.
  • Read all of the website’s policies carefully. Every merchant should have clear policies about returns and any charges associated with returns. Make sure you understand them and they are acceptable to you. You don’t want to buy something – or give something as a gift – and then find that it’s impossible or next to impossible to return the item or exchange it. If you can’t understand a policy or set of conditions or can’t get straight answers to your questions, buy the product somewhere else.
  • Use a credit card. Credit cards are the only way to have some recourse when you have a dispute with a merchant. When you use a credit card, the credit card company stays in the middle of the transaction. It gives the merchant faster access to the money from your purchase (for a fee) and collects the money from you, collecting interest on unpaid balances. If you have a legitimate complaint, the credit card company has the clout to reverse the transaction – and it also has a vested interest in making sure the merchant conducts business properly. When you use a debit card, the merchant draws the money directly out of your bank account – just like if you paid cash. If you have a dispute with the merchant, you’ll have to fight that battle by yourself.
  • Think about what you’re buying. We discussed a number of points to consider to get the best deal online. You should also pay attention to what you’re buying. We’ll use cameras as an example. Some of you might be thinking about giving somebody a new DSLR. People who really get into the fine art of photography may really appreciate one, but they are likely to be very particular about the camera’s features and capabilities. You might be better off giving that person a point-and-shoot camera if they just want to take pictures and not make pictures bigger than 8 x 10. And, if they just want to take pictures to share immediately online, a better smartphone with built-in camera for stills and videos might do the trick. We’ll be seeing lots of tempting new gadgets, so run your own reality check to make sure whatever you buy is appropriate.
  • Don’t feel pressured. Not sure about something? Wait a day. You might pay a few extra dollars over the Cyber Monday price if you wait a day or two, but you might find it’s worth the peace of mind to make sure that you bought the right product from the right merchant at the right price.

We can help you have a better shopping experience. We buy a lot of products online, and we love looking at all kinds of technology and gadgets. Email or call us – 973-433-6676 – with any questions you have for the holiday season. We want to keep the “happy” in the holiday season.

This article was published in Technology Update, the monthly newsletter from Sterling Rose LLC.